Saturday, September 18, 2010

The Short Version

I haven't really talked much about becoming a single mother. Often I've sat down to write about it but I just didn't know where to begin.

A year ago, back when I was still in a relationship with the father of my children, I was terrified. I was afraid to stay but even more afraid to leave. I kept saying the phrase 'single mother' over and over in my head and it seemed so strange and foreign. Scary even. It was simply a fear of the unknown. If I made this enormous jump, where would I land?

Now, 6 months after being on my own, it feels perfectly natural. Not much has really changed actually, except for the lack of a male figure taking up space on the sofa. I am SO glad I didn't let fear hold me back.

I had this idea in my head that my ex would amicably go along with my plans. I just wanted everything to be normal you know? Little did I know things would be anything BUT normal. Let's just say he had a difficult time accepting things and much drama ensued.

Today, things are completely over between us. He wants another chance and I'm not willing to give it. I gave 15 years - that's long enough don't you think? I have a long list of reasons why I would never go back. Maybe I'll write them down someday.

The stuff I've learned about myself and about other people over the past couple of years has been mind blowing. I was so naive. The lessons I've learned have been painful but have allowed me to grow as a person. I am stronger now. I'll never settle for mediocrity and I've raised the bar - high.
Don't mess with this woman - she will kick your ass! And she might not even feel guilty about it later. She's moving forward with her life with great expectations.

The kids are thriving, I'm happy and life is good out here in the country. 

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